The official biography
Compiled by a completely neutral biographer, who happens to be her boyfriend.
Bunyawee lives in Thailand, which experts believe is the main reason Thailand is so popular with visitors.
She is a driver, a chef, a translator, a massage therapist and a negotiator, often before lunch. She is also funny, witty and beautiful, which the committee considered unfair to everyone else but allowed anyway.
She holds the world record for being loved from the furthest away: about 14,000 kilometres, Ohio to Thailand. She also lives 11 or 12 hours in the future, depending on the season, and reports that tomorrow is fine.
She has never lost an argument, although several have been postponed indefinitely.
What the press is saying
- “Frankly, too wonderful. We had to sit down.” The Gazette of Obvious Facts
- “Five stars. We wanted to give six, but the lawyers said no.” Toledo Weekly Sighs
- “The sun rises in the east because it wants to see her first.” Bangkok Evening Compliments
None of these newspapers exist. All of the quotes are true.
Fan mail
Messages go straight to fan club headquarters. Compliments are preferred. Complaints are forwarded to a department that does not exist.